never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
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