Dual....:-)
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Randomize
