I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
