i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
