just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
