god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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