i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize