if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
