there was a trapeze. enough said
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I currently don't understand fingers.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
