no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
