I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
