Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
We left the knife in your bed.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
