so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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