Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
