I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
