Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
