I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
