i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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