It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Bring me that man meat
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
