Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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