i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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