I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
We had sex on a dog bed..
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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