idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
