She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
