he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
