a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
