they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
