So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
