So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
