I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
