i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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