I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
