I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Im part way to drunk.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize