i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
