i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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