she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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