So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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