none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
