So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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