Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
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