3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
be right there i have to get my cape
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
