drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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