I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize