How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
