I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
