Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
