dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
