Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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