I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
