I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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