Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
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