I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
My ass is underappreciated
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
