Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
NoShamevember. You game?
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
