we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
