the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
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