K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
