i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
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