Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Randomize
