So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
