Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize
