Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
