i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
