lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
