dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
