it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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