Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
